“Start over if you have to!” – Mindset Development Coach Jabu Zwane

I remember packing my bags to fly out to the USA on 09 March 2020, after being remarried for only a year.  I was gonna spend a few months in the USA to explore the possibilities available to me. I landed on 11 March, only for President Donald Trump to announce COVID lockdown shutdown 4 after I landed.

I would then find myself stuck in the USA for almost 8 months, with no job, no plan and idea what would happen.  I learnt a lot during this time in a foreign land during lockdown, extending even more into profound lessons when I came back to South Africa.

What starting over is!

Starting over is not proof of failure but a conscious effort to continue living.  It is not proof of time wasted but a manifestation of lessons learnt from mistakes, regardless of how those mistakes came about. It is not proof of weakness but a courageous expression of strength. Strength to face yourself and the ailing situation head-on. It takes courage to admit to mistakes and embark on a humble journey to implement the lessons learnt.

It is a journey of courage that most would dare not take, because it may mean going back to being a child again and being curious about what is possible.  Curiosity is orienting our minds to explore your terrain as you journey through your life and exploring, turning it into an adventure.  When our lives become an adventure, enthusiasm in injected into our lives as we look forward to what is ahead.  Enthusiasm transforms anxiety into positive energy that makes us alive again, especially after a traumatic event.

It is an opportunity to unlearn and unhinge yourself from the unhelpful habits you have adopted along the way.  It demands that we admit our gaps as we grow, gently or sometimes ruthlessly forcing us to have a more objective view of what we need to do.  This is true humility, having a more accurate measure of who we are, what we need, who we need and where we need to go to become better.

Starting Over is proof of growth and the need to adapt as you grow. It is not necessarily a sign of regress or failure.  Starting over is recognizing that continuing down a dangerous slope with no plan or ability to break the fall or slow down the speed may lead to irreversible damage.  It is an expression of strength and will to make a success out the mess in our lives.  It is in no way accepting that you have ruined your life, although it may seem that way.  It is not shameful although most people may feel sorry for you and even see you as being less than because you dare fix your mess.

What Starting Over is Not!

Starting Over is not catching up, readjusting yourself to run a better life race than you have been so far.  It is adjusting to your speed and your rhythm, in line with where you are aligned with where you are going.  Great long-distance runners know all about adjusting their speed and rhythm to where they are going.  Sometimes we ran too hard, too fast with no plan or strategy, just the excitement of winning the cup.  We made financial mistakes, chose the wrong partners, didn’t pay attention to red flags along the way and adrenaline clouded our judgment. It is well because that is being human.  What is also human and mermissable is to pause, reconsider, reorganize and execute new methods based on lessons learnt.

7 brief tips on how to start over.

Reflect and Set Goals: Take time to reflect on what you want in your new beginning, including changes in relationships, finances, and location. Set clear, achievable goals to guide your journey.

Evaluate Relationships: Assess your current relationships and consider which ones are supportive and align with your goals. Be open to making necessary changes to improve your social circle.

Financial Assessment: Review your financial situation, create a budget, and set financial goals. Seek advice from a financial advisor if needed to plan for a more stable future.  You may need an accountability partner especially when you know that financial discipline and intelligence are not your strength.

Geographical Considerations: If a change in location is part of your fresh start, research potential areas that align with your goals and preferences. Plan the logistics of moving, if applicable.  Research and arm yourself with relevant information about your move. Don’t make the mistake of moving without substantial information about where you’re going, it can be costly.

Skill Development: Identify the skills required for your new path and invest in acquiring them. This could involve online courses, workshops, or seeking mentorship in your chosen field.  Find free online courses

Embrace Change: Embrace change as a natural part of starting over. Be open to adapting to new circumstances and learning from your experiences.

Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Building a support network can provide valuable guidance and encouragement as you embark on your fresh start.

Starting over is about pausing, reconsidering, relearning, reorganizing and executing afresh.  Enjoy the adventure.

Written by Jabu Zwane from Mindset Development Institute